I gotta admit, I'm not a huge fan of the melody, but the buildup with volume on the overlaying notes is neat and makes the piece more interesting. Has a nice beat too.
I don't know if I can offer any pointers; this might have been the sound you were going for, but it didn't suit my tastes personally. Given the title, I could imagine this was meant to reflect four different identities, even though it had the same gist throughout. It's still a very unique, almost dissonant sound.