Random-storykeeper's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[AIM - Skyward]

What this piece does best is that it immerses you in a grand and epic scene. The overall structure and the way the piece progresses from a sense of tranquility to intensity are wonderful. The instruments are well picked and the balancing on them is good. It would have been easy to make the electric guitar at the end stick out like a sore thumb, but I like the way it enters and then helps to elevate the final section.

Despite the evoking of epicness and grandeur, I find myself struggling with connecting this entry to its inspiration, and I think it comes down to the composition. To me, this feels like an RPG battle sequence and not so much a space/sky theme. The strings, the faster-moving chord progressions and supporting percussion all feel too fast-moving and I think there could have been more time given, musically, to take in the scene.

Overall, this entry captures the right scale; I just wish it connected with the artwork more instead of coming across as a battle theme.

KevinMueller responds:

Thanks for the review and the kind words!

I agree with your critique, I think I got a bit carried away with the epicness, considering the artwork is quite calm. :)

Thank you for listening!

[AIM - Tranquility]

The chiptune works so well with conveying both the spacey atmosphere while creating a sense of comfort. It's an entry I really enjoy listening to, laying back and being immersed in the journey, and I think it nails the concept of the artwork and its style on the head.

The various sections of this piece are fantastic and I love the ideas that are explored in each of them. I do get the sense of a certain progression in the musical narrative, and I think the order in which the sections follow each other makes sense.

What I would have loved to hear more of, however, are the ways in which these sections connect with one another. For me, the biggest issue I have with this piece is that it feels too "sectional". Often times, the end of a section and the start of a new one would come across as forced. One example I can think of is at the start, where the piece seems to be building momentum off the repeating melody, and that momentum just suddenly stops when the chiptune is abruptly cut off at 0:41 and replaced with the strings. Maybe it makes sense in the Author Comments, but I think when listening to the piece on its own, that's one instance that takes me out of the track's overarching mood and narrative.

2:07 is the other transition that comes across as abrupt, though this one at least has that sweep that allows it to work a bit better (though the differences in the two volumes feel a bit too drastic). It doesn't help that the way these two examples transition are very similar to each other, and I believe that this is part of what makes them feel like transitions made solely out of obligation. It just feels like a stark contrast to the composition in the sections themselves, which flow more naturally.

My favourite section was the one starting at 0:48 with the syncopated chords and the alternating square notes. It was such a great buildup, especially with the way those chords get filtered in and the variation on the main melody tying it all together. I am curious if the "whoop" vocal sound effects are also supposed to represent the "purity of space" like the acoustic drums and strings are. To me, those sounds also seemed out of place with the rest of the sound design, but they don't appear super often and didn't bother me as much.

Overall, this piece has terrific composition, and that and the chiptune mixed with the strings helped to connect it more with the artwork inspiration. With more organic transitions and development through each of its wonderful sections, it would be a comforting musical masterpiece.

Spadezer responds:

Glad to hear you really enjoyed it. I can see what you mean though. I probably got used to it after listening to the song 100+ times, but I really didn't have thought out plan for how I wanted to fit the piece to the art. I just kinda wrote and then forced sections together. Usually I've felt like I could do transitions but maybe I was dealing with a lack of good motivational work flow or something lol. It's always interesting finding out which sections people take as their favorites, and it's nice to get a thorough review again. Thank you

[AIM - Don't Cry]

This track accomplishes what it set out to do. There is an overwhelming sense of sadness and heartbreak in the emotion. I see the connection with the art quite easily; even the orchestration instantly comes across as an anime/RPG sort of track where the lovers have to part ways not of their own volition.

There are two things about this entry that keep me from completely falling in love with it, and they both have to do with the instruments. On one hand, I think some of the instruments used sound great, like the guitar at 0:37 has some nice details to its tone, especially when the string clips at 0:42, which makes me think of when a guitar's strings buzz. On the other hand, there are the longer held strings and piano instruments that sound very flat to me, and I think that does the track a great disservice, especially given the amount of raw emotion pumped through the composition.

Little details like that help to add that perception of "human"-ness and allows more of the track's personality to shine through with its instruments. Even just simple things like adding a gradual vibrato to the middle/end of the violin/viola section, maybe even a bit more attack in some sections, would help a lot. A similar thing goes for the piano - maybe some notes have slightly more release to give that sense of pedal dampening, maybe some notes are softer than others...having that dynamic change in the notes and not maintaining perfect consistency in their volume (of course you don't want drastic changes) makes a whole lot of difference.

The other aspect of this track that weighed it down was its overuse of the reverse cymbal. Although it works to transition between sections, it became distracting to the composition's main melodic ideas and I felt like a lot of the time, no reverse cymbal was necessary to making the transitions work. I think I get it - the reverse cymbal is used when new instruments are added to the texture, and playing them at the start of the phrase would feel too sudden. Perhaps, in some instances, instruments that enter could gradually build up at the end of the preceding phrase so that they feel like they mesh well with the main repeating melody. And what if, instead of a reverse cymbal, there were a fast rolling drum pattern hit with soft mallets on a giant bass drum that goes from soft to loud? I do think the reverse cymbal does work with the instrument choice, but it is a percussive choice that is more effective when used sparingly, otherwise it can become a nuisance.

Overall, this entry is beautifully composed, with a good approach to the instruments that would work with the concept and art. With more humanization and attention to dynamics and percussion placement, it could actually make me cry.

DigitalProdigy responds:

Beautiful review, and I am defiantly going to implement those ideas on my next composition. I agree with the over use of the reverse cymbal and could have used different percussion choices,
Thank you very much for taking the time to review my song, I greatly appreciate it!!!

[AIM - Full Meal : )]

The choice of instrumentation and composition connect with the style of the artwork adequately. The goofy synth at the beginning, along with that descending pattern, gives a sense of charm with an underlying sense of dread. I can picture the little character trying to scarf down as much of the meal as possible.

Initially, I found the sounds accompanying the main melody to feel disconnected from the rest of the work, but when the more distorted instrument took over at 0:17, I felt like the sounds became more cohesive to the general composition. Changing instruments while keeping that repeating pattern was a neat idea that changes up the intensity in subtle ways.

I like that brief melody at 1:43 and it's kind of a shame it gets "swallowed" (no pun intended?) as that section develops. It felt like a strange choice to distort the piece more towards the conclusion; I think it was an interesting direction for the piece to go, but it did leave me feeling rather unsatisfied.

Overall, I think this entry is a good representation of the artwork's concept and style. It's simple, but it does get the point across.

StufflingDX responds:

Forgot to respond to this, thanks for the critique, I appreciate it! The structure of the song is sort of "boy excited for meal : )" , "boy anxiously and sadly chows down meal against his will" , "boy dies" , "Boy ascends into heaven and accepts his fate". I felt like most AIM submissions I was used to were more orchestral and serious so I wanted to throw everything at the wall in the shortest amount of time for fun. Glad you enjoyed it.

[AIM - Twin Cities Under Blue Sky]

I've been really excited about reviewing this piece, even though it made me speechless the first time I listened to it. This entry (and your other one) spoke to me in a way that I don't think any of the other entries did.

As simple as it seems, the way the piece is structured allows for that perfect introduction to the intense main section. Despite its ever beating, barely "musical"? repetitive tune, it allowed me to focus on the sounds surrounding it. And as those sounds repeat, they gradually and perceivably become background noise as the background sounds become foreground noise. I guess that's the best way I can describe it, lol. I listen to this piece like a detailed painting, where I can tune in to different aspects of the texture, or I can sit back and go along for the ride.

The transitions from the louder sections to the quieter ones are done so gracefully - everything feels incredibly natural. Even when the ideas at around the 0:40 mark return at 4:55, it feels so satisfying to hear that same section return having drawn away from it for so long.

Also, while this is not the sound I would have imagined when looking at the art you've chosen, the connection from your entry to the art was evident to me the moment I heard it. I do get the sense of elevation, and all the chaotic, intense sounds felt like they would reflect the noisiness of the contraptions that float in the air to make cities in the sky. I imagine that in real life, those things would not be quiet!

I'm really curious as to whether or not the environmental sound effects were reconstructed to create the synth-like sounds, or if they were supposed to be heard organically and by reconstructed, it was more like rearranging the order. It's always neat to see how people get crazy amazing instruments from sounds in their environment.

This entry was easily one of my favourites of this compo. It connected with me in an unconventional way, as if it were the perfect balance between sound art pieces I'd analyze in university and the wonderful conventional music tracks I'd listen to casually.

CryNN responds:

Thank you so much for this very constructive and positive review! Im really happy you liked it

[Undertone]

The overall bloated sound of the piece is a great take on being chaotic without really feeling fast paced. In fact, the slower feeling of the tempo allows for the recurring melody to pop out. I love how the piece is structured around random sounds; the various instruments being reduced add splashes of colour that made for a dynamic experience listening for the first time.

Even though I love how much the recurring melody pops out, I think the piece could be even more chaotic in terms of its texture. Another melody playing on top of the recurring one and soforth could throw off the balance and make for an even more interesting experience, especially on relistens. You could also change up the timing at which sounds appear - maybe coming in at a weak beat or in the middle of a weak beat.

My favourite parts would be the sounds that come in at 1:15 (reminds me of pizz strings) and 1:50 because electric guitar and chiptune is <3.

Zechnition responds:

Thanks for the review!

I definitely agree with your points, I think the peaks could have been made more interesting in order to better contrast with the slower sections. Balance is an interesting concept that I didn't consider when writing this song, but I totally see how it fits within the main ideas and could add depth in certain areas. I was actually aiming for a more fast paced song, but I didn't quite achieve the apparent speed I was looking for. Also, looking back at this song again I really noticed how rough it was around the edges. I'd love to spend some more time mastering it, but I suspect my skills aren't quite up to the task.

Anyways, thanks again for the tips, they're a big help!

[AIM 2020 - Lavender]

I was drawn in to this composition the moment I started listening to it. I think it really captures the sense of warmth and brightness of the outdoors as evoked in the artwork, and the timbrel palette complements the pixel art palette well. Those lead bells grab my attention, and I enjoy listening to hear how the other layers move in relation to it, particularly the bass. It always feels like the lead and bass are always moving in the same instance, but not at the same time, so there's this strange sense of lagging, even if some notes do line up. Part of me wanted the bass to have more prominence on its own, especially in the moments where the bells were not playing, but I think this also allowed for the warmth of those other pads to break through.

While I love the overall "vibing" sense of the composition, I found a lot of opportunities for developing the sections to be truncated. Very early on, at around the 0:40 mark, the same idea is heard, but at a different key. It seems as though the next iteration after that is also gradually descending in terms of the key that it's in. Having strayed farther from the original key the piece started in, it did seem jarring to jump straight back into it and I felt that it, melodically, broke the sense of smoothness given off by the rest of the composition.

It's interesting because at 1:25, the composition diverges again, and I think the development here is a lot more sound than the first diversion and allowed the transition to the repeat section to be more organic.

In a sense, I do think the 0:40 change could have something added - an additional chord in the progression, maybe. Even an extra layer to the texture could be interesting - something syncopated in the lower-mid end to counterpoint the bass? It all depends on your personal taste, and I'm just spitballing suggestions. I like the idea of having a slight diversion before going into a longer diversion at 1:25; I just wish it were done in a way that would not make the immediate repeat at 0:56 have this unsatisfying sense of "oh, it's just this same section again".

Your ideas here truly bring out brightness and relaxation and just the mood in itself is something I could listen to for quite a while. In these stressful times, I appreciate pieces like these. Great entry.

Troike responds:

Thanks! I really appreciate the depth you went into with this feedback and I'll definitley take it onboard for my future compositions. I'm really happy you enjoyed it!

[AIM 2020 | Lutt - Star Cruiser]

This piece fits into that perfect balance of being music that you'd listen to in order to feel better and music you'd listen to when you feel fantastic. That IV V vi chord progression with the use of minor 7ths (so I hear) really elevates that straddling feeling, especially with how the notes move around this progression.

For me, the intro is what truly shines. Those subtle, filtered, fast-moving notes leading to the melody that really cuts through (especially the delays, because those are fantastic). Everything leading up to when the drums feels like it flows naturally. And then you have those higher, off-beat super thin rising notes that just elevate the texture even further. It also makes it interesting because not everything is so on the nose.

Now, as the piece progresses, I think you generally do maintain that same mood throughout, which is great because the composition lends itself to holding on to that one idea up until the end. Once the lead returns at 1:25, I feel like it overwhelms the rest of the other layers of instruments. I know it's different cycles that gradually come in, but I think that sweet spot would have been to really hear clearly how all these layers that I've previously heard culminate. Maybe I'm just hearing things, but I do hear a bit of an arp that's slightly echoed and I wish it was not as subdued.

At 1:47, when the drums leave and there's a really punctuated bass, I wish there was more of a velocity on the bass so that the notes don't always feel like they hit the same. Perhaps a crescendo would alleviate some of the uniformity that suddenly arises given how sparse the notes are in this section. That nasally wave coming in towards the end with that same melody when the percussion is back was a really great touch, though.

I've yet to listen to all the entries in AIM, but this is among my favourites thus far. I did go back to replay it frequently because I genuinely wanted to. I think it's very well crafted and captures the essence of what I also feel from looking at the art used as inspiration. Great work.

Siberg responds:

Hey, thanks for taking the time out of your day to comment a long intelligent response with constructive criticism. I agree with most of what you said too.

Around 1:25, I could've polished up the mix a bit to make breathing room for every element but I just got lazy in the end and worked on other stuff instead lol. The quietest part of the track is actually the arp from the very start of the song, which was originally a chord progression instead but I ended up getting rid of it due to vst/cpu issues. I'm assuming that's the subdued arp you were referring to.
If you want some insight on what's going on in that section, there's bass, drums, a new synth and 3 seperate arps. the intro arp i just spoke of, a modulated square arp which can be heard best around 3:35 and the main white-noisy arp from 0:21, all playing together for the first time in the track so I can see why it comes off as overwhelming.

For 1:47, I didn't do anything to the bass except turn off the sidechain for that section. Any modulation or automation would've gave it more life throughout the track, I'm sure. A slightly longer attack time so it isn't so punchy would be my first change personally. Could've used a different bass entirely to be honest. Nothing is set in stone when making music ...well, until you render and upload it. lmao

I appreciate the support. I'm happy you liked it enough to comment and replay it. <3

[AIM 2020 Wake Up Call]

I find it interesting that the two most prominent elements in this song are birds and alarm clocks, given that the inspiration was a picture of what I presume to be cold coffee. While there are actual bird and alarm clock samples in the song, there are also imitations of said sounds, with that repeating synth at the beginning having the punchy characteristics of an alarm clock and your use of autotune is supposed to be the imitation of a birdsong. Whether or not these elements actually work, I'll mention in a bit, but I at least appreciate that there's thought put into it.

The chorus is quite good and the true reason why I replay this song as much as I did. I think this is where the autotune works best sound-wise, since you sing over this rising synth line, and I enjoy this "duet" of the voice and lead instrument. I also like how punchy the beat feels throughout the entire piece - it really sets the feeling of a standard alarm clock going off while not being so on the nose.

The thing I wish this song focused on more was its sense of progression and development. Despite the minimal introduction, it seemed as though the texture and sound design allowed more to be added as the song progressed. It was disappointing to hear the song just go from this chorus that grooves pretty hard to an identical intro from the beginning - I almost thought the song was looping, and I don't really think that works in the song's favour. Repeats of sections we've heard before are great, but even in sectional songs, the repeat is not always so closely identical with what you've heard before, because, well, it's been heard before. I don't think the intro is strong enough to be a straight-up repeat, rather, something that builds upon previously heard material. It could be something like changing the instruments that play in that repeat, or adding an extra beat/instruments to accompany it. Just something to get that sense of progression and development. If the idea was that you were resetting in the middle of the song, I don't know if that really makes the alarm clock blaring/sudden awakening at the end all that effective of a conclusion.

I think the autotune was very hit and miss for me. It works well with the chorus, since it has to sing against a synth, but the rest of the song, ie. the verses, does not really have a prominent synth line to compete against, so it just seems a little strange. Yes, I read the description - I know it's an artistic license and it's meant to imitate birds. I just don't know if it really makes sense in terms of the song. Like is the idea that you're supposed to be a bird? But then, why do birds drink coffee? Ultimately, when the accompaniment is a little more laid back, it does become a distraction, albeit I do find it more amusing than I do annoying.

Overall, there are a lot of good elements that make the song enjoyable - while I found the birds questionable, I do like how they are integrated into the accompaniment of the song rather than just being a bookend. It feels like a strange intersection of things, even though those elements make up the act of waking up/the morning itself.

SoulSecure responds:

The elements of the song just reflect my inspiration, so not getting it 100% is understandable as we each have our own context to our interpretations of art.

It's not about me being a bird (with the autotune) so much as incorporating sounds I associate with waking up and getting ready and having coffee. I don't know about you, but we (my family) tend to imitate animals to 'talk' to them, like mooing at cows or cooing at mourning doves and singing to songbirds etc. For me it's not that odd to be trying to sound like a bird lol. Saying 'hello' to those starling chicks in my barn as I sip a coffee by going 'Cheeeeeep~ cheeeep~' and getting in my car is just my experience.

I appreciate the comments about the dropout near the end of the song. My wife had suggested adding sound effects for clarity of that part like groaning or something or the sound of a coffee pot dripping would have gone well there, but the fact is I felt went nicely there cuz I thought the repeat of the melody from the opening was a cool segue to the next part of the song. I like your idea of changing it up, but I'm not sure I'd actually do it. Eh, I'll probably save that advice for a future song, IDK we'll see, I might have a random strike of genius along those lines for this, we'll see! :P

[[•] AIM - Digital Blackout]

I like the mood and the overall sense of progression. What's with the click at the beginning of the track? :P

I'm very curious: what orchestral elements did you use, exactly? I thought you meant orchestral instruments, but I didn't really hear a lot of that.

The trance vibe works well for the most part. I think the choice of chords and instrumentation fits the mood I get from the artwork and the progression is fine.

I notice that in the few instances where there seems to be a melody, like at 1:04, for example, it feels like it should be using the pentatonic scale, but there's very clearly moments where non-pentatonic notes are present. Perhaps it wasn't your intention to use the pentatonic scale, but to me, the non-pentatonic notes felt really out of place in the melody that otherwise would have fit to the mood and soundscape comfortably.

Honestly, I felt like it could have used a bit more bass. Personally, the instrumentation felt too light and thin. But that's just me. Overall, I think you took the right approach for this theme and I thought the structure was great, as well as the melody (for the most part). Good entry!

EldritchAutopsy responds:

Thanx for the review!
-----------------------------------
-The clicking at the start I actually have no idea where it came from, in the FL file it doesnt play that but somehow that ended up in the export. I wanted to fix it but the deadline was just around the corner so I didnt have time to get it out otherwise risk editing past when the entry was due.

-For the orchestral elements, theres stuff like sitars, violas, violins, cellos, basses and pianos about in the track, but I used them more to boost elements of the electronic instruments instead such as using the violins to add bass or the pianos following the lead synths to make a chorus of sounds.

-For the notes in the melodies, I never really thought of using any kind of scale, as I haven't really studied up on them enough, but knowing had I done that it could've fit better Im definitely gonna look into that and study up on it properly

Just again, thanks for taking the time to listen and review my track, I appreciate all the feedback and it really helps!