Random-storykeeper's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[AIM - My Summer Sweetheart]

That recurring melody is everything in this piece. The way it's carried by resonant instruments allows it to cut through emotions, tug on heartstrings, that sort of thing. I love the way it's accompanied by the syncopated piano chords, too. The introduction is well constructed.

The piece has a lot of great buildup, with those filter sweeps, denser rhythms and the sudden dropout to the vocal clip. It accumulates so much anticipation. I just wish the drops weren't so homogenized. Hearing the same melody carry over in two different drops, presented so similarly with each other, makes the piece, as a whole, feel underwhelming because the buildup promises so much more. It's not necessarily bad; it just makes the composition feel stuck in one place when it tends to go towards other directions.

I enjoyed this entry a lot; I think it captures the sweet wholesomeness that I get from the art, especially with its musical ideas.

[AIM - The Dark Side of Megacity]

From the moment moment those guitar chords play, I could instantly connect the music to the setting in the art. You not only captured a city, but the perspective of looking down at the city from above. The idea of creating a song around a specific area of the art was a good premise, and I think the contrasts between light and dark, along with the way spaces are constructed and taken over in a city, are interesting concepts to develop in a song.

Lyrically, I think that there are a lot of interesting angles that could be explored in these lyrics. The song mentions the character being "stuck" and the concept of "you" alluded to the idea of a double meaning - perhaps one's aching desire for light along with the disconnection from a loved one or partner who is, metaphorically the "light", not to mention that the song could possibly be approached from the perspective of that one area in the "megacity" itself. I think the lyrics do touch on these ideas, but I wish the chorus was not so general, especially with the "you were everything to me, and I cannot win this fight" lines, which feel quite overdramatic in a song of this nature.

When listening to the song, I'd say the lyrics didn't really bother me, mostly because I had trouble hearing a lot of the lyrics through the vocals. The mix seemed to bury the vocals, especially around the chorus, which came across as you, perhaps, not being as confident in your vocal ability. I don't know for sure, but it does seem that way - something about your tone I think. That and some moments sound like you're running out of breath, particularly on "fight". This is something that can only be built upon with practice, so keep on singing. :)

The best part of this song was easily the composition. As much as I am confused about the lyrics, the melody is what helps to give them some sense of direction and emotion. Normally, I'm not crazy about long intros, but this one really took the time to set the scene in a way that felt just right. What gets me the most, however, is that guitar riff after the chorus (1:36 to 1:42 as an example). The way that phrase ends, with the single drum beat connecting the two ideas, is a 5/5 buildup and payoff for me.

[Undertone]

The overall bloated sound of the piece is a great take on being chaotic without really feeling fast paced. In fact, the slower feeling of the tempo allows for the recurring melody to pop out. I love how the piece is structured around random sounds; the various instruments being reduced add splashes of colour that made for a dynamic experience listening for the first time.

Even though I love how much the recurring melody pops out, I think the piece could be even more chaotic in terms of its texture. Another melody playing on top of the recurring one and soforth could throw off the balance and make for an even more interesting experience, especially on relistens. You could also change up the timing at which sounds appear - maybe coming in at a weak beat or in the middle of a weak beat.

My favourite parts would be the sounds that come in at 1:15 (reminds me of pizz strings) and 1:50 because electric guitar and chiptune is <3.

Zechnition responds:

Thanks for the review!

I definitely agree with your points, I think the peaks could have been made more interesting in order to better contrast with the slower sections. Balance is an interesting concept that I didn't consider when writing this song, but I totally see how it fits within the main ideas and could add depth in certain areas. I was actually aiming for a more fast paced song, but I didn't quite achieve the apparent speed I was looking for. Also, looking back at this song again I really noticed how rough it was around the edges. I'd love to spend some more time mastering it, but I suspect my skills aren't quite up to the task.

Anyways, thanks again for the tips, they're a big help!

[AIM- Camping In Quarantine]

In my opinion, this was one of the most distinct and unpredictable entries in the compo. When that guitar comes in, it feels so unnatural to the rest of the accompaniment, but the melody's contour and notes make it so that it *just* fits the first time I hear it. As it continues repeating the same phrase, I start to really get into it and fully embrace it as a catchy and off-putting groove. I especially love the play in the tempo changes towards the ends of the sections. I could have listened to either section for five minutes straight - it has that perfect outdoorsy vibe that I can make connections with from the art.

I think the one thing that really sticks out in this piece is the two-section structure. Both sections are enjoyable in their own right, however, the presence of the two of them and the way they are connected in this piece feels truncated, to some extent. The tempo slowdown towards feels like a natural progression for how each section can develop, but using it as a means to immediately transition into the next section feels a little too abrupt for this piece whose strength is in its vibes. Perhaps there is a way to make the transition between these two sections feel more natural rather than, well, sectional, such that it would put a lot more focus on the atmosphere and mood rather than its structure.

If there were a transition between sections - heck maybe even some psuedo-section in between - as unexpectedly fitting as that guitar, I think it would have been top 3 material for me. I was a big fan of this one and it was one of my personal runner-ups.

[AIM - Singularity]

This entry has an engaging introduction, with the buildup of those synth arps and the piano melody presenting a pleasantly singable higher melody that conveys a large sense of scale. I think all the parts are in place - the piece has a good sense of structure, with the long, drawn out intro and the super intense second half. The transition from the first to second half was very effective and I love that three-note repeated pattern in the bass.

While I found myself enjoying particular elements, I felt that this piece didn't leave a lasting impression on me. It was engaging to listen to just enough to hold my attention, but after multiple listens, I didn't really find anything I could take away from it. Personally, I think a large part of it had to do with the composition and the chord progression, especially during the opening. Despite the melody in the piano complementing the undertones of the synth arps, I found the chord progression to be unsatisfying such that when the fast snares come in, I didn't feel like the composition, as a whole, was progressing. Yeah, it had the parts necessary for a distinguishable transition, but it didn't feel like that transition was satisfying. Not to mention that by the time the quick snares came and went, the arps were still playing at more or less the same manner and by that point, I felt quite sick of hearing them.

There is a great repeating section towards the end at around the 3:20 mark. I loved hearing that extra synth that interjects between the melody and the choices for the notes evoked a certain degree of emotion that I felt was missing when I first heard the melody.

Overall, I felt like the components were fine - the sound design was good, the structure was good - there were parts that I really liked, but nothing that really made a lasting impression on me. I do think a big part of it has to do with the composition and the way some layers were arranged. With a huge turnout at AIM comes the unfortunate cut to entries that would have probably made it in smaller compos. I think this would have been one of them.

[AIM 2020 - Lavender]

I was drawn in to this composition the moment I started listening to it. I think it really captures the sense of warmth and brightness of the outdoors as evoked in the artwork, and the timbrel palette complements the pixel art palette well. Those lead bells grab my attention, and I enjoy listening to hear how the other layers move in relation to it, particularly the bass. It always feels like the lead and bass are always moving in the same instance, but not at the same time, so there's this strange sense of lagging, even if some notes do line up. Part of me wanted the bass to have more prominence on its own, especially in the moments where the bells were not playing, but I think this also allowed for the warmth of those other pads to break through.

While I love the overall "vibing" sense of the composition, I found a lot of opportunities for developing the sections to be truncated. Very early on, at around the 0:40 mark, the same idea is heard, but at a different key. It seems as though the next iteration after that is also gradually descending in terms of the key that it's in. Having strayed farther from the original key the piece started in, it did seem jarring to jump straight back into it and I felt that it, melodically, broke the sense of smoothness given off by the rest of the composition.

It's interesting because at 1:25, the composition diverges again, and I think the development here is a lot more sound than the first diversion and allowed the transition to the repeat section to be more organic.

In a sense, I do think the 0:40 change could have something added - an additional chord in the progression, maybe. Even an extra layer to the texture could be interesting - something syncopated in the lower-mid end to counterpoint the bass? It all depends on your personal taste, and I'm just spitballing suggestions. I like the idea of having a slight diversion before going into a longer diversion at 1:25; I just wish it were done in a way that would not make the immediate repeat at 0:56 have this unsatisfying sense of "oh, it's just this same section again".

Your ideas here truly bring out brightness and relaxation and just the mood in itself is something I could listen to for quite a while. In these stressful times, I appreciate pieces like these. Great entry.

Troike responds:

Thanks! I really appreciate the depth you went into with this feedback and I'll definitley take it onboard for my future compositions. I'm really happy you enjoyed it!

[AIM 2020 | Lutt - Star Cruiser]

This piece fits into that perfect balance of being music that you'd listen to in order to feel better and music you'd listen to when you feel fantastic. That IV V vi chord progression with the use of minor 7ths (so I hear) really elevates that straddling feeling, especially with how the notes move around this progression.

For me, the intro is what truly shines. Those subtle, filtered, fast-moving notes leading to the melody that really cuts through (especially the delays, because those are fantastic). Everything leading up to when the drums feels like it flows naturally. And then you have those higher, off-beat super thin rising notes that just elevate the texture even further. It also makes it interesting because not everything is so on the nose.

Now, as the piece progresses, I think you generally do maintain that same mood throughout, which is great because the composition lends itself to holding on to that one idea up until the end. Once the lead returns at 1:25, I feel like it overwhelms the rest of the other layers of instruments. I know it's different cycles that gradually come in, but I think that sweet spot would have been to really hear clearly how all these layers that I've previously heard culminate. Maybe I'm just hearing things, but I do hear a bit of an arp that's slightly echoed and I wish it was not as subdued.

At 1:47, when the drums leave and there's a really punctuated bass, I wish there was more of a velocity on the bass so that the notes don't always feel like they hit the same. Perhaps a crescendo would alleviate some of the uniformity that suddenly arises given how sparse the notes are in this section. That nasally wave coming in towards the end with that same melody when the percussion is back was a really great touch, though.

I've yet to listen to all the entries in AIM, but this is among my favourites thus far. I did go back to replay it frequently because I genuinely wanted to. I think it's very well crafted and captures the essence of what I also feel from looking at the art used as inspiration. Great work.

Siberg responds:

Hey, thanks for taking the time out of your day to comment a long intelligent response with constructive criticism. I agree with most of what you said too.

Around 1:25, I could've polished up the mix a bit to make breathing room for every element but I just got lazy in the end and worked on other stuff instead lol. The quietest part of the track is actually the arp from the very start of the song, which was originally a chord progression instead but I ended up getting rid of it due to vst/cpu issues. I'm assuming that's the subdued arp you were referring to.
If you want some insight on what's going on in that section, there's bass, drums, a new synth and 3 seperate arps. the intro arp i just spoke of, a modulated square arp which can be heard best around 3:35 and the main white-noisy arp from 0:21, all playing together for the first time in the track so I can see why it comes off as overwhelming.

For 1:47, I didn't do anything to the bass except turn off the sidechain for that section. Any modulation or automation would've gave it more life throughout the track, I'm sure. A slightly longer attack time so it isn't so punchy would be my first change personally. Could've used a different bass entirely to be honest. Nothing is set in stone when making music ...well, until you render and upload it. lmao

I appreciate the support. I'm happy you liked it enough to comment and replay it. <3

[AIM 2020 Wake Up Call]

I find it interesting that the two most prominent elements in this song are birds and alarm clocks, given that the inspiration was a picture of what I presume to be cold coffee. While there are actual bird and alarm clock samples in the song, there are also imitations of said sounds, with that repeating synth at the beginning having the punchy characteristics of an alarm clock and your use of autotune is supposed to be the imitation of a birdsong. Whether or not these elements actually work, I'll mention in a bit, but I at least appreciate that there's thought put into it.

The chorus is quite good and the true reason why I replay this song as much as I did. I think this is where the autotune works best sound-wise, since you sing over this rising synth line, and I enjoy this "duet" of the voice and lead instrument. I also like how punchy the beat feels throughout the entire piece - it really sets the feeling of a standard alarm clock going off while not being so on the nose.

The thing I wish this song focused on more was its sense of progression and development. Despite the minimal introduction, it seemed as though the texture and sound design allowed more to be added as the song progressed. It was disappointing to hear the song just go from this chorus that grooves pretty hard to an identical intro from the beginning - I almost thought the song was looping, and I don't really think that works in the song's favour. Repeats of sections we've heard before are great, but even in sectional songs, the repeat is not always so closely identical with what you've heard before, because, well, it's been heard before. I don't think the intro is strong enough to be a straight-up repeat, rather, something that builds upon previously heard material. It could be something like changing the instruments that play in that repeat, or adding an extra beat/instruments to accompany it. Just something to get that sense of progression and development. If the idea was that you were resetting in the middle of the song, I don't know if that really makes the alarm clock blaring/sudden awakening at the end all that effective of a conclusion.

I think the autotune was very hit and miss for me. It works well with the chorus, since it has to sing against a synth, but the rest of the song, ie. the verses, does not really have a prominent synth line to compete against, so it just seems a little strange. Yes, I read the description - I know it's an artistic license and it's meant to imitate birds. I just don't know if it really makes sense in terms of the song. Like is the idea that you're supposed to be a bird? But then, why do birds drink coffee? Ultimately, when the accompaniment is a little more laid back, it does become a distraction, albeit I do find it more amusing than I do annoying.

Overall, there are a lot of good elements that make the song enjoyable - while I found the birds questionable, I do like how they are integrated into the accompaniment of the song rather than just being a bookend. It feels like a strange intersection of things, even though those elements make up the act of waking up/the morning itself.

SoulSecure responds:

The elements of the song just reflect my inspiration, so not getting it 100% is understandable as we each have our own context to our interpretations of art.

It's not about me being a bird (with the autotune) so much as incorporating sounds I associate with waking up and getting ready and having coffee. I don't know about you, but we (my family) tend to imitate animals to 'talk' to them, like mooing at cows or cooing at mourning doves and singing to songbirds etc. For me it's not that odd to be trying to sound like a bird lol. Saying 'hello' to those starling chicks in my barn as I sip a coffee by going 'Cheeeeeep~ cheeeep~' and getting in my car is just my experience.

I appreciate the comments about the dropout near the end of the song. My wife had suggested adding sound effects for clarity of that part like groaning or something or the sound of a coffee pot dripping would have gone well there, but the fact is I felt went nicely there cuz I thought the repeat of the melody from the opening was a cool segue to the next part of the song. I like your idea of changing it up, but I'm not sure I'd actually do it. Eh, I'll probably save that advice for a future song, IDK we'll see, I might have a random strike of genius along those lines for this, we'll see! :P

[[•] AIM - Digital Blackout]

I like the mood and the overall sense of progression. What's with the click at the beginning of the track? :P

I'm very curious: what orchestral elements did you use, exactly? I thought you meant orchestral instruments, but I didn't really hear a lot of that.

The trance vibe works well for the most part. I think the choice of chords and instrumentation fits the mood I get from the artwork and the progression is fine.

I notice that in the few instances where there seems to be a melody, like at 1:04, for example, it feels like it should be using the pentatonic scale, but there's very clearly moments where non-pentatonic notes are present. Perhaps it wasn't your intention to use the pentatonic scale, but to me, the non-pentatonic notes felt really out of place in the melody that otherwise would have fit to the mood and soundscape comfortably.

Honestly, I felt like it could have used a bit more bass. Personally, the instrumentation felt too light and thin. But that's just me. Overall, I think you took the right approach for this theme and I thought the structure was great, as well as the melody (for the most part). Good entry!

EldritchAutopsy responds:

Thanx for the review!
-----------------------------------
-The clicking at the start I actually have no idea where it came from, in the FL file it doesnt play that but somehow that ended up in the export. I wanted to fix it but the deadline was just around the corner so I didnt have time to get it out otherwise risk editing past when the entry was due.

-For the orchestral elements, theres stuff like sitars, violas, violins, cellos, basses and pianos about in the track, but I used them more to boost elements of the electronic instruments instead such as using the violins to add bass or the pianos following the lead synths to make a chorus of sounds.

-For the notes in the melodies, I never really thought of using any kind of scale, as I haven't really studied up on them enough, but knowing had I done that it could've fit better Im definitely gonna look into that and study up on it properly

Just again, thanks for taking the time to listen and review my track, I appreciate all the feedback and it really helps!

[The Same Room (A Billion Trillion Stars)]

I really enjoyed this piece a lot. The guitars have a wonderful laid back vibe and I really appreciate the subtle panning and how well the instruments complement each other. I love the flow of the different sections and the reversed parts were so weird, but worked really well. The piece almost sounds like it's dissociating towards the end, but just trying to keep things together musically.

So this was you playing guitar? No wonder it sounds so good. I think the only thing I didn't like was the ending. This piece just sort of ends abruptly, and it felt like that wasn't intentional at all. At first, I was wondering if this was meant to be a loop, but given the percussion lead-in, that appears to not be the case. Maybe if the percussion in the first few seconds wasn't there, it would feel like a loop and I would have been all for that.

I dunno, even though the percussion is a big send-off, I love the mood so much that I would dare to say it's one of my favourites from this compo thus far. It's the ideal piece I would listen to while cooped up inside my room. And I think that fits the art just perfectly.